A year to the day...

December 29th is a day that will pretty much forever suck. A year ago to about the minute we had to say goodbye to a dear friend. Time goes by so quickly but it doesn't seem to make talking about or thinking of her any easier or less painful. Her happy smile, her raised eyebrow, her gentle nudge saying "dad, scratch me between my eyes, cause you know I love it".

As if I could ever forget. Everyday at work, I have my coffee in my rottie mug, which is inscribed with a saying that embodies everything that she is... depending on the day sometimes our coffee together brings a chuckle and sometimes a tear.

"I AM A ROTTWEILER. MY SUBSTANTIAL FRAME YIELDS STRENGTH AND ENDURANCE, AND MY TRANQUIL, SELF ASSURED AND SPIRITED TEMPERAMENT MAKES ME A DEVOTED COMPANION. ALTHOUGH I HAVE AN INNATE DESIRE TO PROTECT MY HOME AND FAMILY, THERE IS ROOM FOR FUN AND GAMES."

Little Willow personifies her in so many ways and it makes me happy to see that maybe in some sort of bewildering way, she's still beside us in every waking moment. Today, one year later, I don't miss or love you any less Josey.

Old man winter crushes...

So, whatever I was thinking last week about being some sort of mental giant was pretty well leveled on Saturday's run...I was as much a diametric opposite of giant and/or mental as imaginable.

After consulting my in-house running guru, I decided to get the 5 mile leg of my 20 out of the way first on one of my standard routes...then do a 15 mile out and back...easy enough. It was 27 degrees with a howling wind when I left, but far warmer than last week so a big fat piece of yummy cake! How wrong I was!

There were moments during my run where I literally felt like I was running slow motion in place up hill (13 min/miles) screaming foul-mouthed obscenities at the top of my lungs while ole' man winter whipped me into submission with wind and bitch slapped me with cold.

At mile 14 or so, Kristina (thankfully or I would have cried) brought me a warmer hat...warmer jacket and peanut butter filled pretzels...but all I wanted was a ride home. Boy, was that a shitty run...Weak. Slow. Soft....Everything I don't want to be.

11's for 20 which does not make me feel very strong only wondering how one week you can feel so strapping and the next so puny???

deep freeze long run

Amid the long term slactivity, alas...a posting.

I have to admit, I was finding it quite difficult to get all blogity about anything as of late; be it my sore foot, the incredibly exciting treadmill workouts that I have been having or getting my ass handed to me in masters swim class by middle-aged women.

Having said that, yesterday's long run made me realize that all I want for Christmas is wind proof underpants...15-miles...14 degrees as a bundled up and headed out the door. That 14 degrees, however, doesn't include the 20 mph accompanying wind chill, which based on the chart puts the temp somewhere in the area of -2. Anything would be better than a treadmill for 15 miles.

As soon as I left, I thought, this is really stupid...stupid me, stupid cold, stupid run... just plain stupid...why do I do this again? And then I turned into the wind,...I needed to continue with the stupidity for another 14.5 miles. The way my brain works, I decided to do the out and back, because if I ran past home on my normal loop route, it would have been too easy to return to the couch and warm my feet by the fire with the dogs... so instead, an ever dripping nose, windy frost burn and freezy headaches from breathing in a sideswiping cold blast - I couldn't remember having a more painful run save none...

I ended up running 9:58's on a hilly and very exposed Anthem loop...and returned physically depleted and really cold, but feeling like a mental giant (albeit a not so smart one). What I lack in speed everyday, I made up in toughness yesterday...someday it may come in handy, or not?